College: The Rough and Tumble Times

Fun Fact: When you grow up things tend to become expensive.


True Story: I've worked pretty much since the time I could legally hold a job, and haven't really looked back since. Watching my Pop while growing up, I saw how much pride and joy he took in his work. Being able to accomplish something with his hands or his actions, and being able to provide for my family provided him with a sense of purpose. I've embraced that whether it be knowingly or not, and it has been playing into my thoughts and feelings while being here at home. 


My first job I got when I turned 14, and worked as an assistant to a luthier, one who makes or repairs stringed instruments.  Needless to say it was amazing. By the time I was 16, I was running a professional trade shop on my own some days, responsible for performing repairs on violins, violas, etc. and assisting customers purchase instruments. Have I mentioned it was an amazing job?  I worked there throughout high school, and took great pride on being able to physically make something happen with my hands and knowledge which I got from my wonderful boss. The money which I made then went entirely to whatever the heck I wanted, which for a high school student is absolutely anything which has no long term value. 


When I left for college, I still moonlighted at the luthier's shop, but naturally got caught up in other things while at school. That being school, ROTC, and life.  I'll be the first to admit that growing up I've often acted irrationally and immature. Not immature in the sense that I find fart jokes funny (though if done correctly, one cane be hilarious), but in the sense that I never quite knew how to own up to my mistakes and when to admit I was wrong. By the time I was a sophomore in college, I was working as a tutor in a multi-discipline program, and absolutely enjoying teaching and mentoring.  Now I'd like to say that I had grown up significantly and was a perfect gentleman, but I'd be lying. 


A lot had changed in my life by the time I entered my second year, and I often would freak out over situations in my life. My solution? Shut down. There were times during my sophomore year when I would distance myself from everyone, and internalize my thoughts and feelings until I believed they were tamed.  What I didn't take into account was that by doing so I had actually effectively drawn out the process of "returning to normal."  Now some people who may read this blog that knew me then will think that I regret isolating myself and burning bridges.  That isn't the case, and I won't provide any apologies for my actions then. If I've alienated you from my life there's a reason for having done so, but I do apologizes that things came to that. 


My maturing became a point of contention my junior and senior year of college, and forced my hand on the matter.  Just before I left to attend military training before my junior year my Pop came down with Vertigo, a disease which effects the inner ear canal and causes extreme dizziness.  By the time I started school in August he had fallen and broken his right ankle. He was told he could not put any weight on it for eight weeks. Coincidentally eight weeks after he broke his right ankle, he broke the left ankle and was told the same thing: no weight for eight weeks.  During this time my Pop was put on short term and then long term disability (these accidents only compounded the other medical conditions which he already had), and when he was finally medically cleared to return to work in January, he was released from his job.


We tried to rally around my Pop, my Mum and I, and still try to to this day.  He suffers from a lose of purpose.  That meaning and intent which drives one to get out of bed in the morning and push through the day.  My Pop is the strongest man I know because, not only has he worked for nearly 30 years after being deemed 100% disabled, he's handled a terrible situation to the best of his abilities, and my Mum is a woman of rare and unsurpassed character to keep plodding through the situations we've been dealt.


Shortly after my Pop was released from his job, my Mum found out that her Breast Cancer had returned, but not in the traditional manner.  Eight years after her original diagnosis, her breast cancer had metastasized in her bone marrow and was effecting the production of her Red Blood cells and platelets. She was short of breath and tired. But she never stopped, not even for a bit. My Mum was working as a special needs aide for a local elementary school, and would take one day off a week on Tuesday so she could make her chemotherapy treatments.  She never complained about working when she shouldn't have, and she certainly made no apologies for carrying on with life the same way the best she could. 


It took me until my last year of college to realized that life was larger than myself.  I had held an Ayn Rand mentality of selfishness for a great part of my life, believing that by doing the best I could for myself I was doing the best for others by not settling (this is significantly watered down and if you're curious I recommend The Fountainhead if you're really interested). Life became more complicated, and I took on responsibilities of ensuring that my parents were taken care of when I could be there. Doctors's appointments, grocery runs, laundry, changing the cat litter, and others became things which I made myself concerned with so they wouldn't have to be. I did this because I saw how my community, the same one which for a majority of my life I've counted down the days until I could leave, picked up my parent's cause and looked after them together.  Strangers would deliver dinners to my parents when they couldn't cook themselves, money was donated to help pay medical expenses and needs, and people were there to offer a laugh and a hug of hope. 


Since I was a kid I've wanted to leave Cincinnati since it's a bubble with an inward focus, but I've come to realize that those things are what makes it great.  The West side takes care of its own because its the right thing to do, and makes no excuses for itself for doing so. I've never had an opportunity to thank those people who looked after my family when I couldn't while attending school, but if any of you happen to read this just know how immensely humbled and thankful I am for all which you have done for them and me. 


I'm now graduated and living back at home. Since being that sophomore tutor, I've been a park guide at a National Park and now laborer working on industrial equipment on my way to assuming my responsibilities as an officer in the military.  My Pop has filed for disability and preoccupying his time with random historical conversations with me.  My Mum has since left the elementary school she left due to the uncertainty of her treatments and our families ever bizarre situations.  Both are doing well and in reasonably good health considering their conditions.  Growing up can suck, a lot, but we all need to do it.  Here's to hoping that the transition is gradual and smooth.


Hope everyone has a great weekend, and if you're in the Cincinnati area get outside and enjoy this weather!