A substantial portion of my life is led in full view of everyone to see. I don't hold many punches so pretty much what you see is what you'll end up receiving. Either I'm a foolish man for allowing so much of my personal life to be on display for the world to view, or that's the course of leading an open and honest life. I don't pretend to have an answer or to be righteous about these things. I refuse to make excuses for myself or others but will undoubtedly give anyone the benefit of a doubt. I spread my time between a fair number of people who all enjoy different things and live unique lives. I live an open and honest life because by spending time with each of these people, I can share a particular portion of my life with them in an intense way that I couldn't with majority of other people.
Over the course of time this has brought up bizarre charges of being false and insincere with people I know or talk with, yet I'd argue the exact opposite is true. I can never, nor will I ever, attempt or pretend to be someone which I'm not. I'm content with where I am and understand that each day brings new lessons and growth for me. For the most part I'm secure being on my own, and don't necessarily need to have someone else in my life. So when it's said that I'm being false with those around me, I'm baffled. I much rather share a very personal and distinct memory with those people around me, and I'd like to think my friends who have known me for a long time feel the same.
In a lot of ways this particular blog is an autobiography. Not one with dates and stories, but a self reflection of what someone is comprised of in the short and long term. I have a need to talk to people openly and honestly, to provide them with my sincere opinion and thoughts, and listen to what it is they have to say. Yeah, yeah, sounds great and wonderful. I don't write these things for appearance because what's the point? Eleven people may end up reading to this point of the blog, so I'm not searching for public opinion. I write these things to be able to say this: I am socially awkward. Dreadfully, painfully, and clandestinely awkward. In the most social situations I haven't the slightest idea how to behave or act regardless if it's one on one interaction or a bar with hundreds. The go to for this kind of problem is a sense of humor, and the ability to laugh at yourself. A second practice used for the socially awkward is to tell good stories because these can be memorized and rehearsed for effect. Lastly, I try to be as genuine as possible because I'm not sure how else to handle myself.
I'm paraphrasing something which I read recently (I can't remember what or by who, naturally) but by striving for the ideal of which we can be we are able to achieve what we're capable of in reality. Everyone has an option or choice they can make: Invest yourself wholly into whatever it is you're doing, or master the ability to multitask. The world needs both people and there's a place for everyone, but those people driven by a single ambition push the world forward as the multitaskers make the world operate. Myself, I'm a multitasker to my center, but I envy those which have that fire which burns at their core.
Let me tie up the lose strings so I can let you get back to your day/night. People may want you to think you can be apathetic in your life and just go through the motions. Not me, no longer. I must live my life like I'm trying to obtain that ideal. I must live a life in which I multitask my jobs and responsibilities so that I can allow my friends to be driven by a singularity of purpose. We live in a world and a time which the success of one person can be set by themselves, but requires the efforts of everyone around them. Now, PHOTO MONTAGE!!!!!!!! (Sorry for it not being more inclusive, apparently I'm not very photogenic).
Left: Old School, Luke and I senior year of high school
Right: Had to dig an old one up, Tess and I at a wedding.... for someone.... not sure who
Roadtrip Partner! Trina and I
Ben, Krista and I with a cameo of my ranger hat
College roommates Dave and MJCIII
There's a strong chance we were separated at birth, months apart. Andy Mike and I
Hope everyone is doing well and that the weather isn't causing too many problems for everyone. I'm shut down from lifting for probably at least a week because of a strained back. The key now is to not miss work.
Tear.
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